Rating: 7/10 Hearts
Format: Audio-book – Library
Buy it Here: Final Girls: A Novel
I have to start this review by saying this is not at all my regular genre of book. I’m a fraidy-cat and generally avoid the grown-up horror genre. I find enough of it with my obsession with dystopian fiction written by women, ha ha. So it shouldn’t be a surprise that it took some time for me to get into this book, and once I was in I couldn’t decide who to be more afraid of.
Our girl Quincy is a Final Girl. Apparently this is a thing in the serial killer/horror life. She’s the one person who survived a mass murder on vacation with her friends. There are two other Final Girls: Sam and Lisa. Sam has been off the grid for several years and Lisa and Quincy have kept in casual touch. But when Lisa’s sudden death (deemed a suicide) brings Sam to Quincy’s front door– well, prepare for some action. I mean, don’t prepare too fast, because not a lot happens until about halfway into the book.
I’m usually a pretty good guesser as far as plots in shows and movies, but I found myself at a total loss during this tale. Half of the characters seemed pretty capable of committing heinous crimes. Can we talk about how our protagonist beat the sad stuffing out of a homeless drug addict because #trauma? Also, my detective skills only come from my high school forensic classes and seeing every episode of CSI Miami, but the detectives never looked at her knuckles? Why wouldn’t they look at her knuckles?
Then there’s Sam, who I started to think set up that whole situation for blackmail purposes. She’s her own basket of struggles. I figured she couldn’t have been the Pine Cottage murderer, but I sided with Jeff– um, why did you let a severely traumatized lady into your home? Then they have that entire exchange about the justice system; yes, every person, no matter how terrible they are, gets to have a public defender. It’s one of the (slightly broken) cornerstones of civil liberty. What, she just wants people sent straight to prison for life? No, actually, Sam’s more into her own brand of weird vigilante nonsense. Prison sentence?! Hah! Hiding bodies, now that’s justice, right there.
Honestly, the way the book was formatted, with flashbacks to Pine Cottage, I thought it was going to turn out that Quincy had killed all of her friends and someone else had stabbed her in self-defense or something. Of course, that’s what sneaky Sager wanted me to think! Blast! I fell for the trick. I guess I should practice with more mysteries.
I’m shocked I didn’t realize it was the ridiculously handsome cop the whole time. Coop should have set off my alarm bells about 90 times throughout the book, and somehow I was lulled into Quincy’s same naiveté. Usually anyone who’s too handsome is not a good guy. I’m pretty sure it’s some kind of trope. I was even cheering for her to have sex with him a little bit– even though I rarely want characters to be unfaithful to their significant others. Let me tell you, this book took me down a peg!
All in all, a twisty mystery with so many suspects that at some points I thought maybe they would just give up and form a crime syndicate. Seems like that would be the best use of their time. Jeff could defend them in court! It would be nice for him to have a role besides Generic Long-Term Relationship Man. Poor Generic Long-Term Relationship Man, so patient! So loyal! So replaceable with a cat.
Subjective Hearts: ♥♥♥ 3/5
Objective Hearts: ♥♥♥♥ 4/5
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