Format: Audio-book – Library
I’ve been a Brene Brown fan for quite awhile– but it was interesting to listen to this audio-book. Here’s what I love about Brown and about this book in particular: she’s not perfect, and we know she’s not perfect. She’s brutally honest about her mess-ups, doesn’t seek to polish them up, just owns them and puts them right there in her book for us to see and judge. She also happens to be a brilliant researcher.
One of my biggest critiques about self-help books is they often rely upon vague hand-wavy woo-woo nonsense. “Visualize your Best Self!” “Let Go of Negative Thoughts!” with no concrete ways in which to effectively utilize actual therapeutic tools like visualization or interrupting negative or intrusive thought patterns. That’s not how Dr. Brown rolls. The is one of the least light, fluffy nonsense books I’ve ever read in this genre, which is awesome.
This isn’t to say it’s full of exacting tips and tricks that will change your life right away, but rather, full of help and encouragement to set boundaries, have hard conversations, own up to your failures, and most importantly, use your words.
It’s an amazing book as far as interpersonal relationships go. I spent several years training to be a couple and family therapist, and a tool she suggested that I had never heard of before really rung true for me.
“The story I’m telling myself is…” Dr. Brown recounts a story of how she was swimming with her husband, and he was being a bit cold and standoffish. She began to feel maybe he didn’t find her attractive anymore, (to keep the story short), and this began a spiral of thoughts that made her feel angry. Upon discussing this with him, and explaining how she was explaining his actions in her head, they were able to have a conversation about what was really happening.
I found this book incredibly interesting and helpful! I always suggest you go watch Dr. Brown’s Ted Talk on Vulnerability
Objective Hearts: 4/5
Subjective Hearts: 4/5